Maybe This Time
by BoxOfTrinkets
Summary: The story of two people as they fall in and out of love, and the hardships of life and how they effect us. This is a story about love, but it isn't a love story.
1. July 18, 2019

_July 18, 2019_

It is a slow and sleepy day in Seattle, the summer sun still radiating enough heat to lull the city into a nearly peaceful doze and life ambles on. The air was warm and the traffic was slow, lending the day a lethargic and apathetic feel as the sun slowly spreads across the city, across the streets, across Kennedy Square, across a tall building with a huge clock on its side, across the freeway from the building, to another apartment building on the other side of the freeway, closer to the Space Needle.

The sun crawls up the side of the building, creeping to the fourteenth floor of the apartment building, climbing into the tall window on the fourteenth floor and across the worn carpet inside that particular apartment. The sun finally lands on the man asleep on the old armchair that sits directly in the sun's rays, a television remote in one hand and a flat can of peppy cola tipping dangerously in the other, the light illuminating the shabbiness of the chair and the man himself.

The sleeping man was exhausted, and with his scruffy brown hair thrown in wild disarray and the slight five o clock shadow decorating his jaw he certainly looked worse for wear. The lines across his forehead, etched in permanently with worry and stress despite the fact that he was only twenty four, would have bothered anyone else, though they didn't bother him, these days Freddie Benson rarely cared about things as trivial as his appearance anymore.

He sleeps soundly if a bit fitfully, his face twitching occasionally and his cigarette smoke choked breathing providing the soundtrack for the room. He breathes softly, in and out, until he is roughly jostled awake by the front door of the apartment opening and a small child of five bounded in, dropping the keys from her tiny hands before making straight for the arm chair and throwing herself into Freddie Benson's lap with a laugh and a squeal of "Daddy!"

He jumps, dropping both the remote and the remainder of his soda as his hands immediately came up to catch his daughter before he gives her a tired smile, barely giving a second thought to the spilled soda on the floor as he leans forward to kiss the top of his daughters head. "Hi Carls." He said, her favorite nickname earning him a laugh. "Did you have fun at Momma Benson's?"

"Uh huh!" His daughter smiles at him, revealing the empty slot in her mouth from where her tooth had fallen out the day before. "Lot's of fun. Me and Mommy got to play with her new kitty! She thinks you need to go to Daddy." his daughter pouts at him. "She says you're being a brat."

Freddie fights back a smirk, not really up to explaining to his five year old daughter exactly why he chose to be absent whenever she insisted on visiting his mother and settled for picking up his daughter and setting her on the floor. "And Momma Benson's a brat because she's allergic to cats, now where is Mommy?"

His daughter pauses, looking towards the door with a troubled expression before speaking. "I don't know. She just sent me up here with the keys."

"Go find her?" Freddie asks, smiling at his daughter in amusement. The girl was like a crack addict, her moods changed more often that her socks did.

"Okay!" His daughter chirps, jumping off his lap and running back for the door. Freddie watches her go. He loves his daughter, he thinks she was the most beautiful thing in the world. With her wide blue eyes, waterfall of lazy curls and icy smirk already perfected at age five, Carly Benson was her mother in miniature, save for the rich brown color of her hair that mimicked his own.

It doesn't even bother him anymore that she isn't his child.

He hates whenever his mind decided to remind him of that, which it does whenever he looked at his daughter, and he is suddenly so caught up in forcing the thought down that he doesn't hear the clicking of heels that signal the return of his wife until he hears her speaking over Carly.

"Oh my god Freddie really? Jesus I cant leave you here alone here for two hours and you've already made a mess."

He doesn't register what his wife is saying until the feeling of his daughter climbing into his lap makes him look down to see his wife in front of him, the towel in her hands pressing into the rug in an attempt to mop up the soda Freddie forgot he spilled.

"What mess Sam? It's just soda." He tries tiredly. This was why he stayed home from his mothers. She was having one of her days.

"Soda that isn't going to come out." Sam snaps at him, her blue eyes flashing menacingly. "Really sometimes I wish you weren't so dense about these things."

"It wasn't my fault." He argues back, struggling to keep his voice level. They had agreed not to fight in front of Carly anymore.

"Daddy didn't do it on purpose Mommy." Carly tries to rise to his defense, swaying from her place on his lap.

"Yes but Daddy still did it." Sam answers shortly, the strain in her voice telling him she was trying to keep it together as well.

"It'll come out Sam it's just soda." Freddie tries to placate her again.

She sees right through it, sending him a dirty look before straightening up, her hair falling into a blonde curtain over her face as she leans over him to pick up Carly, who immediately begins to cry as she is removed from his lap. Freddie doesn't miss the flash of sheer annoyance that crosses Sam's face before she cradles Carly to her chest, swaying slightly to get her to stop crying. As soon as Carly is removed the damp towel is replacing her, landing in his lap and soaking through his knee as she drops it on him.

"Fine then, you clean it up." She says, her expression telling him she was clearly ignoring Carly's cries by now as she leaves the room, not making any effort to quiet her daughter. Carly had learned to pick up on her parents emotions. When they were upset, she was upset. She was always upset lately.

Freddie watches her go, refusing to acknowledge the lump in his throat that was always present around her lately as he slides off the couch to kneel at the foot and begins to clean up the soda.

Anything to make her happy.

* * *

><p>hi. me here.<p>

so yes, i know this isnt like what im doing now with friendly favors, and yes this will be depressing as shit, but bear with me:/ my relationship of four years just ended and i need some kind of outlet or i'll pop.

it's a multi chapter but the order of events will be sporadic, jumping from time to time. it might be confusing but your all smart no? you will learn fast.

If you dont like it its cool, just let me know.


	2. April 3, 2011

April 3, 2011

Sam sighs, watching the festivities around her uninterestedly. An untouched piece of ice cream cake sits in front of her on the island, the ice cream melting and creating a pool of chocolate goo on her plate, making the whole thing look even more unappetizing. She hadn't even wanted to come to this party, but it seemed rude to miss Spencer's birthday party, no matter how bummed she was.

Her gaze drifts across the room, the loud pop music going unheard in her ears as she watches her friends dance and interact. Her gaze is pulled to the stairs, where Freddie sits, watching them just as she is, a diet cream soda that went flat ages ago still in his hand. Freddie rarely drank soda, Sam had learned. He usually had one in his hand just so he had something to hold, but never really touched it, but once it went flat he would still hold on to it, just to avoid someone offering him another one.

His slanted brown eyes slide over to her, but she has been watching, and she expertly turns her gaze to the floor the instant before their eyes met. They had just broken up a week ago, and despite the sweet declaration of love she had received and the extra hour they had spent christening Carly's elevator it still hurt her. It still hurts her. The words that had been said, forced, unnatural. She had liked him forever, it seemed so unfair that she had been so good, waited through his crush on Carly, waited for him to pull his head out of his ass and realize, only to have it all snatched away by a few words from Carly to two people who didn't even have anything to do with them.

Spencer seems fine, she notices. He dances wildly, Gibby's shirt wrapped around his head like a turban. She has never seen Spencer drunk, but she is unsurprised to learn that it isn't much different from when he is sober. He doesn't even seem to miss his babysitter, he only sulked for an hour until Carly had given him an ice cream. He was perfectly fine after that. Sam envied him, her gaze drifting away from Spencer back to the stairs where she watches Freddie toy with his Pear Phone. She hates how much she misses him.

She doesn't want to be here, she thinks as she finally pushes away her paper plate of melted ice cream and soggy cake from her and stands. She doesn't want to go all the way downstairs for air, and she cant cross the apartment to the front door to break into Freddie's apartment to use his fire escape. She cant use the elevator without attracting Carly's attention, something she really, really doesn't want right now. Her only option, she realizes with a sinking stomach, is the stairs.

She falters as she takes another step. His eyes have drifted up again and found hers, keeping her nailed to the floor where she stands. He quirks an eyebrow and she fights down the blush that wants to crawl up her neck her color her face. Her back straightens. She was still Samantha Puckett. She was still in charge.

So she soldiers on, keeping her jaw tight and her eyes flat to deter any questions as she finally draws level with him. She has to stop at the foot of the stairs, raising her own eyebrow to rival his own. They stare at each other until a grin breaks out over his face. She doesn't have the heart to return his smile. She settles for keeping her eyes trained straight ahead when he moves over so she can pass him. She doesn't see his smile fall as she does. Nor does she feel the gaze still following her back as she retreats upstairs.

She climbs to the third floor, slipping into the iCarly studio after fighting to reach the key sitting at the top of the door frame. It doesn't look as friendly now with the lights off and she leaves it that way. She doesn't think she can handle all the bright color right now.

She sits down at he far end of the raised portion of the floor, on the window sill where she and Carly sometimes went street fishing. Its quieter up here, the noise of the music doesn't reach her and she is alone with her thoughts.

She isn't alone for long. She has only been sitting alone for four minutes when she hears the quiet ding of the elevator, signaling someone getting off on the her floor. She can only assume its someone from the party, the elevator wont open inside the rest of the building. She doesn't turn around to see who it is, her mind automatically jumping to Carly. Carly probably just noticed she had left the party and had come up to either talk to her about what was wrong, or to try and convince her to go back downstairs, like the good friend Carly was.

She hears quiet footsteps leave the elevator and she hears the door close. She still doesn't turn around to see what Carly wanted. She is surprised, but only slightly when Carly doesn't say anything automatically. The footsteps stop right behind her, the owner not moving them closer to her. Sam still doesn't turn around. But she does speak.

"What Carly?" She asks into the darkness quietly, her mind not even registering the oddness of the situation. Carly would have spoken by now, or turned on the lights. Or something.

She doesn't get an answer. The owner of the feet remains silent. She is about to turn around when her phone lights up, vibrating happily in her lap. She ignores her silent visitor to check her phone.

_1 New Text From: Freddie._

_Why are you up here?_

Sam catches his wording and realizes the identity of her silent visitor. She stares at her phone for a second, not sure whether to answer his question or to just throw her phone at his head. She doesn't get the chance to, her phone vibrates with another text.

_1 New Text From: Freddie._

_It's hurting me too._

Her breath catches in her throat at that. She feels the tell tale burning of tears and lump in her throat and her throat constricts. That bastard. She shakes her head as she closes her phone, telling him she didn't want to talk about it.

She expects him to leave, to turn around and go back downstairs, but it was Freddie, her stubborn, stubborn Freddie who wouldn't back down from a challenge if you paid him.

She suddenly feels the air around her shift, her personal space slowly being encroached upon as she feels the cushion she's sitting on depress behind her as he sits down, closer than warranted. Those fucking tears finally escape and she hastily wipes them away, trying to disguise the action with a cough. She knows he sees right through it and she feels him scoot minutely closer to her, his hands coming up to her hips the way he used to.

She flinches, her body tightening up, rejecting his touch. She feels his hands slide away and her heart breaks a little bit more until her phone vibrates again, making her jump.

_1 New Text From: Freddie._

_Its still me Sam._

She hates him, she hates him so much. She hates that he is still able to control her like this. She doesn't even realize she's crying, dry sobs catching her throat and making her shake. She feels his hands on her hips again, hesitant and trembling. But he's right. It is still him.

Her body relaxes before she lets it, her back coming to rest on his chest as his hands tightened around her middle, holding her together as her heart breaks over him all over again.

She loves him. That bastard.

* * *

><p>Today was the first day in four years that we haven't spoken…he really doesn't want me anymore. Four years and its really that easy to let go of me: im sorry for the waterfall of angst, but this is really the only thing keeping me from… doing I don't know what.

Im a mess. Im sorry.


	3. December 16, 2011

_December 16, 2011_

"Sam will you quit staring?" Carly asked uninterestedly, her gaze not even moving from the cupcakes she was frosting.

"Who says I'm staring?" Sam shot back, her own cupcake and spoon forgotten in her hands.

" Because that's all you've been doing." Carly answered, smearing a finger full of frosting onto Sam's check with a smile.

Sam glared at Carly and turned to gaze back to what she was watching.

Freddie and his stupid, ugly, boring and absolutely perfect girlfriend.

When Freddie had brought Julia over for the first time, Sam hadnt thought much of her. She was pretty sure, she looked just like all the other ones, dark hair and wide dark eyes. Imitation Carlys. She hadnt cared about his sudden reversion to girls that looked like her, she figured it had been just his way of coping with thier breakup and that he would get over it, or she would just get over him.

But fuck you Julia.

Sam detested Julia on the sheer basis that she made Freddie as happy as she did. They had been together for six months now. Six months! It had seemed to drag on for Sam, month after month of watching Julia and Freddie smile and be all lovey together. Girl was even a tech nerd. He had met her at some science far nerdy type bullshit he went to and god she hoped he wouldn't last. None of the other ones had.

She and Freddie had gotten into an unspoken competition in the year following their breakup. He had dated as many girls as would have them, going through them in two weeks tops before moving on to the next one. She had done the same, only to show him that he wasn't the only one who dough dirty.

But Julia was, by all means absolutely perfect. And Sam hated her for it.

" I've totally been helping." Sam argued, finally finishing the cupcake in her hand and almost dropping it as she watched Julia laugh her stupid perfect laugh and Freddie grinned back at her.

"No you've glaring." Carly smiled over her shoulder at Freddie and Julia. "and it's been six months already let it go."

" I let it go six months ago" Sam snarled back, making Carly laugh again.

Sam picked up another cupcake and started frosting it violently. She ended up getting most of it as she watched Freddie and Julia kiss on Carly's couch. She really should have gotten over it by now. She had every reason to be over it. Over him.

Sam's glaring was cut short by the sound of knocking on the door. She grinned as she watched Julia pout as Freddie pulled away, her grin slipping as Freddie leant to give her one more kiss before going to the door.

Get a room. She thought savagely, her face twisting into a grimace as Julia stood and flounced over.

"They done yet?" she chirped the same way Carly did, though it grated on Sam's nerves a thousand times more than that.

"This one is." Carly chirped back, picking up one of her perfectly frosted cakes and handing it to Julia, who took a dainty bite.

Sam shoved the cupcake in her hand just to watch the tiny flicker of annoyance pass over Julia's eyes. It was easier to hate Julia knowing she didn't like Sam either.

"Sam, your boyfriends here." she heard Freddie announce. She looked up from her stating contest with Julia and smiled at the annoyance in his voice and turned to her boyfriend knowing she still had cupcake all over her face.

Noah had been her thing for the last three month, sort of. His dark hair and eyes had caught her eye and he was wonderful at arguing. Plus Freddie hated him, so it was only a plus in her book. She didn't hate Noah, so she kept him around.

"Hi baby." Noah greeted, brushing past Freddie as though he wasn't even there.

" I've got something for you." Sam cooed in her sweetest voice,keeping Freddie in her peripheral vision even as he glared over Julia's shoulder.

"Oh I see, is it a whole bunch of chocolate frosting?" Noah smiled as he pulled her close and licked the side of her mouth.

Sam laughed, letting herself melt into Noah as she watched Freddie wrap his arms around Julia and turn to talk to Carly. Effectively shutting her out.

That sat fine with Sam. She had gotten her reaction and she turned in Noah arms to return his kiss.


	4. October 31, 2013

_October 31, 2013_

_This blows so hard._ Sam thinks savagely as she continues to force her face into a smile. She hands the sticky change into her hand to the stickier hand of the sweaty man dressed in an ill fitting batman suit in front of her. She hands him an oversized soft drink cup and widens her smile, feeling her chapped lips sting as they stretched. Fatman in front of her returns her smile, remnants of chocolate from earlier caught in his snaggletooth.

She fights down her urge to vomit as the man waddles away after his equally fat girlfriend, a short girl shoved into a child sized Poison Ivy costume with what looked like marshmallow caught in her cheap red wig. Sam sighs, wiping her hand on her pants with only mild distaste.

She would work on halloween. And just as sure as the fucking sun would shine she would be kept in till three a.m. When all the losers in stupid costumes were finally drunk enough to realize they had eaten all their candy.

She sighed, spacing out while she leaned on her cash register. She jumped, startled when someone slammed their hand down on the counter in front of her.

" Wake up angel."

The deadpanned greeting make Sam smirk and she looked up to see freddie, dressed in a ninja costume and a smile. " What do you want Fred wad?" she asked with a sigh. " As you can see in very busy working."

" Hey hey be nice, I come bearing sugar." he snapped before pulling up a candy bag filled to the brim with chocolate draculas and fat cakes. Sam stared at it for a second before pointing at herself and asking quietly,"For Momma?"

Freddie smirked at her and nodded, handing her her candy and repeating sarcastically "for momma." She snatched the bag and shoved it under her register, smirking a thank you up at him which he returned with a salute.

"So who'd you pick as your date tonight Fredducinni?" she asked lazily as she watched Freddie toy with a pen on the counter.

"Carly." he answered with a sigh. "My best two options were Julia and Angela but I don't want anything to do with either of them."

"Bummer." she said with a smile as she watched Carly dressed as Dorothy leave the bathroom and blow her a kiss as she sat next to Gibby, whose buff figure was crammed into a Captain America costume.

"Yup." he smiled at her. "Even though it also means I have a date with Gibby for the night too I guess it isn't all bad."

"Sorry I couldn't help you out in not being a third wheel." she said.

"Oh no Noah?" he crooned sarcastically.

"No no Noah." she mimicked, so accurate it was almost scary. "He's working tonight too."

"What, can daddy's boy not leave the shop on Halloween?" Freddie gasped with a dramatic breath.

"Fuck you Freddie." Sam shot back.

"Not tonight angel." he said, having the nerve to sound as bored as he could. "Maybe later." he pulled out a twenty from his pocket and slid it to her on the counter.

"Nice costume by the way." he winked at her before turning and joining Carly. Sam sighed as she looked down at her ruined costume, the short, floppy and once white dress and her oil spattered white socks and even her wings that were spattered with chili. She didn't care though. Betting freddie that she wouldn't wear a pure white angel costume to work at the messiest fast food place in the city was the easiest twenty bucks she ever made. She straightened her halo and grinned back at Freddie as she shoved the twenty into her bra, spearing chili across the front of her dress.

She hated the costume anyways. She only wore it because she knew he liked the dress on her.


	5. November 15, 2013

_November 15, 2013_

Sam sighed, her hair flowing around her in the cold breeze, drumming her fingernails on her phone in her lap, still vibrating gently against her bare legs. She knew exactly who was calling her, he had called eighteen times in the ten minutes she had been sitting out in the garden, but it wasn't him she wanted to talk to.

She shivered, halting her nails and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it with shaking fingers and inhaling deeply before rubbing her arms with her hands and crossing her arms against her bare stomach. Her phone started ringing again. This time she answered it, breathing in harshly before carefully taking her cigarette out of her mouth.

"Back of the garden by the orange roses." she said without preamble, fighting to the tremor out of her voice from the cold, exhaling shakily and watching the smoke curl around her.

The line went dead. She wasn't offended. Most of their conversations had become one liners, mostly over the phone.

She shivered again, the wind picking up her tousled hair and raising goosebumps along her spine. Fuck this weather. She probably should have put her dress back on.

She heard his footsteps behind her, finally and she turned gratefully into his touch as he wrapped Carly's bathrobe around her and sat beside her.

"Didn't think to put your clothes on before running outside?" Freddie asked, reaching over to steal her cigarette and taking a drag.

"Not really." she answered honestly, watching the smoke curl and wrap its way around Freddie. "I was too focused on not murdering him."

"I was wondering where you too sneaked off to. Carly's going to murder you. You disappeared right after the speeches. I don't even think you caught the end of Spencer's."

" Let her." Sam answered with a sigh as she took out another cigarette, lighting it and handing it to him as she took hers back.

"thanks. Where is he?"

"Still running around the party looking for me. With any luck hell run into Carly."

Freddie laughed. Reaching over to something next to him, he dropped something in her lap. Her dress and heels.

"I love you." she said seriously as killed her cigarette before standing and pulling her dress on, sitting back down to slip her shoes on.

"I know." he answered, killing his own and standing. "What are you gonna do?"

"wait till the end of the party and talk to him I guess. If I see him now I'll end up slitting his throat on Gibby's moms carpet."

Freddie snorted. He stood and took her hand to pull her to her feet. " well just hand out with me then, Carly won't kill you with me watching and Noah hates me so he won't bug you either."

"Noah does hate you." She affirmed, looping her arm around his offered one and began to walk with him back to the house.

"Only you would run out of an engagement party in her underwear." Freddie sighed.

Sam sighed in return, hanging her head slightly as they walked back into the house where the party was still in full swing, everyone drinking and no one had noticed Sam and Noah sneak off.

She snagged two champange glasses off a nearby table and handed one to Freddie. she was about to take a drink when a hand caught hers.

"where have you been?" An irate and frazzled Carly demanded, her red dress slightly wrinkled and her eyes wide and demented.

"Fighting with Noah." Sam answered in a deadpanned tone, elbowing Freddie when he chuckled into his drink.

"Sam, this is my engagement party." Carly began, her hand tightening to the point of pain on Sam's arm and her eyes widening, Sam could see the remnants of what looked like potato salad in a strand of Carly's tousled hair, standing on end from her hands repeatedly running through it. "Please, for the love of ham, fix it and dont dissapear for the rest of the night? For me?" Carly pleaded, looking close to tears.

"I'll be here, promise." Sam said, releasing Freddie and hugging Carly.

* * *

><p>Sam grunted, her head falling forward on to the bed an her hands fisted the bed sheets, Noah's hands gripping her hips from behind.<p>

"fucking shit Sam...fuck." Noah panted from behind her, pushing into her harder.

Sam lifted herself on her elbows and spread her legs wider, planting her feet apart on the floor and leaning up into his touch. Noah's hands gripped her hips harder and he cursed again as his forehead touched her bare back.

Sam whined, turning her head and staring at her dress that was on the carpet of Guppy's room for the second time that night. After the party had ended and Carly had passed out, she had crept out of Gibby's mothers room and down the hall to where Noah was sleeping, and before they ha even spoke she was bent over the bed and they were already naked.

She was shaken from staring at her dress both from Noah's muffled curse and his hips pushing against hers as he came hard inside of her.

"Noah! What the fuck!" sam hissed at him as she shoved him off of herfeeling him slip out of her and her heart sank.

"Shit Sam I'm sorry!" he whispered back, falling onto the floor in a drunken heap.

"I said not without the fucking condom." She snapped back at him as she stepped over him with disdain. She didn't wait for his answer as she walkedto the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She turned on the water and began to wash the semen out from between her legs, scrubbing off her thighs and reaching inside herself with two fingers to get all of it. She was going to beat the shit out of Noah when she was sober enough.

She knew she shouldn't have left the room with Carly. She was nowhere near sober enough to handle him rationally, or even remember what they were fighting about, or to remember that all their arguments lately have been ending in sex anyways and finicky she was going to kill him.

She took a towel down and dried her legs and lower parts off, reaching a hand back into the running water and splashing her face with it before burrowing her face into the towel.

She waited until Noah had begun to snore before finally leaving the bathroom.


	6. July 18,  2019

_July 18, 2019_

As she had predicted, the soda didn't want to come out of the carpet. He had sat there on the living room floor in front of his chair, scrubbing at the spot of flat soda on the floor for fifteen minutes before deciding it was a lost cause and standing, tossing the wet rag onto the kitchen table and retreating down the hallway where the sounds of his daughter crying were still audible over Sam's repeated attempts to quiet her down.

Freddie stopped in the doorway of his daughters bedroom, watching silently as Carly sobbed on her bed while Sam moved around the room, tidying up the room while half heartedly calling reassurances mixed with pleas to her daughter to be quiet. He watched as she sighed, looking older than Freddie had ever noticed, even though she was only twenty five, and she straightened up, dropping the clothes in her hands back onto the floor and turning on Carly, a scream clearly building in her throat but dying when her icy blue eyes met Freddie's watching her from the door. He narrowed his eyes at his wife and she glared back, they had always promised to never yell at or in front of Carly, a promise she was clearly about to break, and she knew she had been caught.

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head in a gesture that clearly said _fine then, you fix it _and she left the room, pushing past him and stomping down the hall, the sound of the balcony door opening and slamming reaching Freddie where he stood.

He sighed heavily, feeling a thousand years old himself as he stepped into his daughters room, crossing over to her tiny bed and reaching down, lifting his daughter into his arms and pulling her to his chest. Carly immediately stilled, her cries stifling to little hiccups and her tiny hands wound around his throat as she buried her dripping face into his throat.

"Mommy's mad at me." Carly murmured against Freddie's skin, the sound of his daughters heartbroken voice making the anger rise back up in Freddie. Fucking Sam.

"No she's not Carls, she's mad at Daddy." He told her, stroking her long dark hair and rocking her slightly to make the last of her sobs subside. He finally quieted his child and moved towards the window, pulling back the teddy bear printed curtain to stare out at the balcony, where Sam leaned against the guardrail, her long hair fluttering loosely in the wind and a cigarette clutched loosely in one hand. Freddie's mouth tightened as he watched her raise the cigarette to her mouth and inhale deeply, letting out the smoke in what looked like a sigh.

Finally satisfied that his daughter was calm, Freddie moved away from the window and set Carly back down on her bed, smoothing her hair and kissing the top of her head. "Daddy's going to go smoke with Mommy okay Carls?" Freddie asked her, smiling softly when his daughter wrinkled her nose at him.

"Momma Benson says smoking is a dirty habit, and that you and Mommy are going to die before I'm in high school." Carly answered him matter of factly, nodding seriously at him and crossing her arms. Freddie fought the mad urge to laugh, sometimes he forgot his daughter was only four, she acted so mature sometimes it broke Freddie's heart at how fast she was being forced to grow up.

"Yeah well, Momma Benson's crazy." Freddie told his daughter, smiling as she laughed and he left her room, closing Carly's door behind him and sighing before walking down the hall and across the living room, opening the balcony door and slipping out into the cool evening air to join his wife.

Sam was still where he left her, leaning against the guard rail with what looked like her third cigarette in her mouth and her chin resting in both her palms. She didn't look around at him as he crossed the tiny balcony and stood next to her, leaning on the guardrail in a mimicry of her stance. She still didn't look at him, but after a long moment she reached into her pocket and pulled out a squished box of cigarettes, pulling one out and handing it to him wordlessly.

He took it and put it in his mouth, taking the lighter she was now offering him and sparking his smoke, inhaling deeply and sighing as the smoke made its way out of his lungs, the nicotine flooding his brain and immediately soothing his frazzled nerves. He stood there next to her for god knew how long with out speaking, quietly smoking their respective cigarettes.

It made Freddie sigh sadly and turn to watch his wifes impassive profile, her flat blue eyes still staring forward determinedly. He suddenly felt old again as he remembered how they used to do this as teenagers, just sit and chain smoke and enjoy each others company, though she didn't seem to be enjoying his company, she seemed to be barely tolerating it these days.

"Soda kinda came out." He finally spoke, still watching the side of Sam's face.

She was still for a long time, and then she finally moved, tossing the butt of her finished smoke over the balcony and nodding. "Told you it wouldn't come out all the way."

"It's just soda Sam." Freddie said tiredly, not sure why he was still pushing the argument when it was such a stupid thing to be fighting over.

"That's not the point Freddie." Sam answered through clenched teeth, throwing him a warning glare as she pulled out another cigarette.

"What is the point then, Sam?" Freddie spat at her, his anger rising and he reached forward and plucked the cigarette from her fingers and lighting it, raising an eyebrow at her challengingly when her mouth fell open indignantly and she looked like she was either going to scream or hit him.

He stood his ground, inhaling in the smoke and watching her as she closed her eyes to steady herself and she shook her head, clearly deciding he wasn't worth fighting with and she pulled out her own, lighting it and turning away from him.

Freddie rolled his eyes. He hated when she was like this.


End file.
